


kindergarten

by DarlingHazel



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Best Friends, Billy is obsessed, Break Up, Bullying, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Murder, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Suicide, bad badbadbad, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:22:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingHazel/pseuds/DarlingHazel
Summary: He really likes Steve. A lot.But he doesn't like Nancy.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	kindergarten

**Author's Note:**

> title is from kindergarten by chloe moriondo, fic inspired by it as well!

Steve’s got a sweet smile.

Pretty pearly, straight teeth and pink lips that look no less plump stretched than they are relaxed. It drives Billy’s stomach into knots. His heart does twirls, twists, everything inbetween.

And Steve has soft, long brown hair.

Not too dark, just the right shade of chocolate like his big doe eyes-- flawless and styled in every gorgeous imaginable way.

But he’s so honest, despite how he gels his hair and puts on a fake charming smile around women.

Billy hates seeing Steve grin at ladies, hates how he styles his hair for them and not him.

But he’s so sweet, so tasty and wrapped up all pretty with a sugar coating. Billy’s thrust into a whole ‘nother reality around Steve, just so caught up in the cherry drops of his lips and the honey pools of his eyes.

Steve’s just so pretty and handsome and charming and Billy’s a snake.

So when Billy hears that Steve’s with Nancy now, he grinds his teeth and clenches his jaw and bites his tongue until he tastes blood, smiles tight-lipped at his best friend’s dreamy talks about his newly acquired girlfriend.

The copper’s a delicacy, it runs down his throat so warm and stains his teeth with reminders. But it’s not a lot of blood.

Just a drop.

A lovely little cherry drop.

But Steve’s so happy and giddy and smiley.

Billy used to be the one who made him laugh like that.

And then after that day, all he sees is Steve and Nancy together, inseparable. Like  _ they  _ used to be. It makes him want to grind his teeth into dust.

His fingers twitch anytime Nancy touches Steve, his eyes harden into icicles when Nancy’s looking their way and his body feels all too tense when Nancy’s near.

He wants to touch Steve, he doesn’t want Nancy to look at Steve, and  _ he doesn’t want her near Steve. _

Things will never be the same.

So when he sees Nancy and Jonathan walking together after school, far too close for comfort, he all but closes in on this opportunity. A simple snap of the camera.

Once Nancy’s alone later in the week, he corners her and shows the photo. It’s not enough to be considered romantic, but it’s enough for Nancy to feel scared because  _ everybody’s _ scared of Billy because he’s a  _ snake. _

And then the days after that, Nancy doesn’t touch Steve, look at Steve, or go near Steve. And Billy is far too pleased, because Steve’s lovely lithe body is crying into his arms later on while intoxicated and Billy gets to hold him so close and so tight knowing Nancy’s no longer in the picture anymore.

But apparently the photos weren’t enough, because Nancy’s back less than a month later with a half assed apology and a shitty excuse. Clearly, Steve’s angry.

But Steve still goes on a date with her.

And Billy, like the snake he is, like a kindergartener, like a fucking  _ kid, _ gets Tommy H. and Carol and the other kids and breaks into Nancy’s locker. And they put up photos of her half-naked getting changed, pictures of her and Jonathan during her and Steve’s “break”, spread the rest of the pictures all around school. Spray paint truthful and harsh words all over the walls and lockers.

And it’s back to heartbroken Steve, back to  _ Billy’s  _ Steve.

Nobody questions where the photos came from, all they do is laugh at Wheeler while Billy gets to hold Steve close to him in front of them without a care in the world.

But Steve’s stopped smiling like he used to.

It’s all charms and witty comments and fake grins. It’s all  _ King Steve. _

But it isn’t  _ Billy’s Steve. _

To Billy, that doesn’t matter anymore though. Because now all Steve knows to do is grin at him like he does with women, and Billy’s heart still flips with the sight of it. Even knowing it’s fake, even though some small crushed part of him fills with anger and pity at not being given the right attention, he still gets weak in the knees.

All Steve knows how to do now is stick close to Billy and stay silent around women, because they’ll all hurt him. When he nearly got with someone else after Nancy, Billy made sure to expose that slut for the whore she was.

Even if it wasn’t real. Even if it was just Tommy H. spreading lies because Billy asked him to.

Steve believed it, the girl couldn’t counter it, and Steve was his again.

All Steve knows is to get away from women and stay with Billy. Because Billy’s never done him dirty, Billy’s never lied to him or done him wrong. Billy’s the safest and best bet.

Billy’s his best friend.

And even without the honesty, even with the distance, Billy makes sure Steve’s always close to him, always hanging out with him, always with him.

Because Billy loves making him laugh, loves hearing him giggle at something stupid, loves it when he sees Steve walking towards his car after school, and his stomach’s all twisted when Steve’s crying and hugging him some nights.

Everything Steve does just makes his heart beat faster.

No matter how unreal it is now. How fake it all is.

Steve has no reason to leave Billy.

And Billy wants to tell him how he feels, because they hug much more now, they always hang out, they’re always talking (even if it’s really just Billy) and Billy’s feelings have only gotten more sugary and sweet as the weeks pass.

The party’s the day, Steve’s birthday party, that’s the day Billy will tell him. Because there’s no way it’s not meant to be.

And Steve’s all smiley and genuine on his birthday when the kids are there and some of their school friends are there, Steve’s all daisies and dandelions and peaches when Billy comes over with a neatly-wrapped gift consisting of hair gels and necklaces that Billy just knows the brunette will wear without hesitation afterwards.

Steve’s all cute and pretty and honestly happy again on his birthday.

And Billy feels disgusting.

Disgusting, because he took that smile off Steve’s face the same way he used to put it on him. Disgusting because Steve’s happiest on the day he’s surrounded by such a small amount of people because he’s learned to rely on kids and Billy and nobody at their actual school all because of him. Disgusting, revolted, and appalled because he’s the one who’s done this to Steve. He’s the one who fucked him up.

But then Nancy’s there and he completely forgets why he felt disgusting to begin with.

All he tastes is sugar, too much sugar, and cherry drops. He’s biting on his tongue again.

Steve is the sunshine, bright and golden and loving and warm and bringing light into Billy’s world. Being the reminder of his past life in Cali. The beacon of hope that keeps his skin tan, keeps him healthy. Reminds him he’s not different, he’s the same as he always was.

And Steve’s not there when Nancy steps into the living room, and everyone treats her kindly but Billy still tastes sugar and copper and doesn’t see the sun.

Nancy looks at him bitterly, he looks at her coldly, and they rotate around each other on different planets.

It’s all too dark when Nancy’s left to find Steve. And it’s all too perfect when Billy knows Steve’s not where she’s going.

Cherry drops, and then strawberry juice far too red for its own good. Like melted chocolate, puddled beneath her head. That’s what he envisions.

Not what he gets, though.

Because then Nancy’s on the ground after her mouth’s stuffed full of pills in the bathroom, wrists bleeding and pictures placed so perfectly accidentally by her pockets spilled along the tiles.

It’s all so perfect, because Tommy’s at the party and Tommy loves lying for Billy.

And Steve’s all his again, because now he really has nobody to love but Billy.

Because the camera’s placed so perfectly accidentally on Steve’s desk that afterwards, everybody avoids him and every girl gets scared of him.

But not Billy.

So of course, when Billy says he loves him, Steve cries and lies through his teeth and says he loves him too.

But Billy pretends it’s happy tears, and kisses them away. Even with his tense muscles and scared rambles when they make love later on, Billy knows how to make it feel good. Nobody else would love him the same.

Steve’s not broken, he reassures himself.

It’s all Nancy’s fault.

Billy’s a disaster around Steve, always so flustered even if Steve’s stopped smiling. Because when he asks, he smiles. Tight lipped and clenched jaw and everything.

It’s not good enough.

It’s all Nancy’s fault.

Billy’s weak in the knees and completely vulnerable and bare with Steve, lets himself get used even if he’s the one begging Steve to use him. Even if he’s the one who gets the most out of it nowadays.

It’s all stupid, but he’s addicted, his brain doesn’t work when he gets to cuddle with his soulmate and when his dad’s finally gone from a little car accident with a malfunctioning engine, Billy’s completely free and ready to wake up to Steve’s gorgeous face every day.

The whole thing went further than he originally planned. But that’s not his fault, it’s Nancy’s.

But it all crashes down, and his dark bruises from his father’s past treatments are all the more prominent when he walks into Steve’s room to find a husk of a man with a crushed windpipe from the pressure of a rope.

It’s all Nancy’s fault.

It’s _ all Nancy’s  _ fault.

_ It’s all Nancy’s fault. _

When he bites his tongue, he realizes he’s got his lips on the cold chapped ones of Steve’s and tastes far more cherry drops than he should. Is he the snake? Is he the  _ venom? _

_ It’s all his fault. _

**Author's Note:**

> im... i might deletet his later if i have the effort in me.. im so sorry... imss sor yy this was poorly written
> 
> my tumblr is nancywrote, please send over some prompts there and. th thank you for reading any questions or something leave them in the commentsimsorryimsosorryi


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